An exercise in emotional logic...

Something I realised:

I don't let people know how sensitive I am. So here goes: I get hurt deeply and easily.

Here are some things I've been (repeatedly) told by family and friends, and my gremlin, through most of my life:
"You're too sensitive"
"You need to toughen up"
"Give as good as you get"
"Just ignore it / them"
"Show no pain or they'll do it again"
"If you show emotion or talk through tears, people don't listen, then they patronise you and think you're a wimp"

With all that in place, it's a short logical step to this rule: "don't engage with people because all they do is hurt you".

I don't want that any more.

And I also wonder if the people telling me these things are so hurt, or so unwilling to accept that they do hurt others/me, that it's easier to make it all my problem of over-sensitivity. AND, of course, this logic requires that I accept my part and wonder if perhaps, just perhaps, there's some truth in what people have been telling me for a while too. Perhaps, just perhaps, I can toughen up by showing my sensitivity, and perhaps, just perhaps, I can also stay with people who I've hurt. I don't suppose people really set out to hurt one another.....and we do hurt each other, from time to time. Best to clear it up.

Which means I'm going to have to take being hurt, not make myself the victim, and let people know when they have hurt me. And I expect other people to do the same with me.

Slow breaths

J
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