Stories

I spent a number of years working in organisations. During those times I was spending HALF OF MY WAKING LIFE doing things that meant nothing to me. In environments that passively discouraged thinking differently, emotional engagement or creativity. In those years I spent half of my life shutting down the best parts of me. Towards the end of that time I was off work ill for the best part of two months because I couldn't think straight. I couldn't face going back to work at that last place. I really could not bring myself to get out of bed to go there. Working like that was a complete mess: a disaster, a soul destroying process.

Looking back, I wonder what part of my heart would really have ever cared if an insect could overwinter under UK field conditions (curiosuly, that's what I spent my doctorate researching). What part of my soul was uplifted by advising people to use X or Y pesticide, or even more spiritually, filling in application forms for approval of chemicals on behalf of organisations who were so bored at the idea of doing it themselves that they would rather pay someone else to do it. It was, for a time, intellectually flattering, I got a degree, a PhD, published scientific papers, wrote articles for the trade press, and slowly shut down more and more of myself.

I do not want anyone to ever work like that.

I want people to engage in what they do for half of their lives (and the other half as well, of course!), with all of their heart, their soul and spirit.

I want people to get out of bed in the morning, even in the most awful times and know that every single emotion, particle and space of them is absolutely welcome, loved and cherished by the people that surround them at work, at home and anywhere else. ALL of them.

THAT is the kind of organisation I want to create, anything else seems like failing myself.

Funny, I was crying as I wrote this. These things never really leave us, do they?